forever

Yesterday I walked by the room she died in and I saw that my whispers are still under the bed.

And now I'm leaving more whispers, placing them carefully, the I love yous and the remember whens. I don't want this room to become a memory, too. But we all know that this is the last summer.
I try to find the compassion and sweetness everyone says I inherited from her, but it's been missing. I try to find that place where I'm strong, but that's missing, too. I try to tell them what I'm feeling, but my words are wrong.

I just want to know that goodbye doesn't mean forever.