honesty

It's funny that I can call myself a grown woman. I have to now, if I want to claim everything I've done as my own.
And it's funny, that as a grown woman, I still can't seem to be honest. It was always easy to convince myself that if maybe I just told the truth, I'd be an honest person. But that's not honesty.
Instead of facing the frightening or uncomfortable things in life, I've learned to evade it all and stay withdrawn. In some ways it's become easier. The distance helps. In other ways, I wonder how I've maintained relationships this long.
I could say everything. I feel the honesty in my mouth sometimes, but my voice carries it away with sarcasm or roughness or dismissal.
To me, honest people are the bravest people in the world.