Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Fear; revisited.

A year ago, I was on top of the world. It was all possibilities and late nights and awards and love. Now, it's stagnancy and shaky hope and confronting my fears (not because I want to, but because I have to.)

My fears have been showing up almost every day now, always new and more intimidating. Some people say that's life, they say it'll never end. I hope it's making me stronger and that I won't be afraid forever.


I met one fear when I opened that first letter: now I can move on. I met one at an afternoon party and introduced myself: now I'm not tormented. I met one when I felt that pain in my chest: now I can breathe. I met one late at night dreaming beside me: now I can sleep.

A year ago, I was terrified. Of losing my world, my foundation, my future. Now, I realize that I can have everything that matters, I just can't stop fighting for it.
I never considered myself much of a fighter, but I can be. Now I've got to be.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Love it BethAnn! Loveeeeee it. Is this real stuff? From in your own mind? Or is it snippets of something you might use in fiction one day.